Post Concussion Musings; Or A Superhero Origin Story

Based on a true story.

I’ve been mildly concussed for about a week and a half. I also really enjoy reading comic books. These two things aren’t actually related, except for in a self indulgent, I’m-writing-a-personal-essay-so-everything-can-be-related sort of way. However, if you’ll kindly indulge me (as I’m still mildly concussed while writing this) I’ll try and make a case for the connection: You see, this concussion has me feeling a bit off. It’s like my mind sprung a leak, leaving me absent-minded and a step slow with a small trail of destruction behind me. For example, the other night I set off my fire alarm while making eggs because I began washing some dishes while the oil in the pan was heating up and promptly forgot that I was cooking. Meanwhile, at work I confused the words ‘avo’ and ‘egg’ while ringing in someone’s food, presumably because ‘avo’ looks like ‘ova’ which is a common answer in the crosswords I’ve been distracting myself with (a guest at the cafe was quite confused when his toast arrived eggless and with a huge mound of avocado on top).  I also dropped and shattered the black matte-textured porcelain soap dispenser in my bathroom which was quite distressing because I bought it for a great price at Ikea (which is way too far away to visit just to pick up an eight dollar soap dispenser, gas prices being what they are). And then yesterday morning I was swatting away a fly with a hand towel in my bathroom and accidentally swatted my electric razor off of the countertop and onto the floor, shattering the (expensive AF, because that’s how they get you) replaceable head into tiny, useless pieces. 

How I’ve felt, as of late.

So to reiterate, I’ve felt a bit dumb. And in feeling dumb, have felt not quite like myself. However, despite the accidents this hasn’t been an entirely negative experience. In fact, feeling dumb and not like myself has been surprisingly insightful insofar as it offered a change in perspective.  Sometimes I can be a bit neurotic (in case you haven’t noticed). I often overthink things, exercise excessive caution, obsess about specific details and over analyze situations that don’t call for a high level of scrutiny- typically under a shiny false veneer of not giving a fuck (I was taught early in my hospitality career to ‘never let them see you tired, never let them see you sweat, never let them see the effort). This can be draining under the best of circumstances and is downright exhausting when carrying the weight of a concussion. So as a coping mechanism I’ve had to adjust my thinking- in conversations, in decision making and in writing I’ve had to be more open and direct.  This has led to some really good conversations and outcomes that might not have occurred otherwise; I had a chance meeting with a friendly acquaintance and received a great offer for part time work at a business I really respect; I asked someone who works in a field I admire how he started out and was offered insights and guidance into volunteer opportunities that really interest me; I picked up my phone and had a great catch-up conversation with one of my best friends and, perhaps most importantly, I’ve seen the value in being a bit more direct, open and vulnerable in my everyday interactions.

Superhombre: Making the best of a bad situation.

Which brings us back to comic books. The shift in mindset and the resulting good that has come of it has me feeling a bit like I stumbled upon an alter-ego;  “Post Concussion Mark!” (Which as an added bonus, sounds like a punctuation symbol! I’m also thinking maybe “Post Concussion Man!” would be the more traditional name. Either way, it’s PCM for short.) Anyway, PCM’s super powers are very basic: He’s less neurotic than I am, makes quicker decisions, has less impulse control, pays a little more attention to the main purpose of anything he’s doing and by necessity cares far less about how he’s being perceived by other people because worrying and overthinking hurts his head like kryptonite. His weaknesses are clumsiness, forgetfulness and multitasking, which can be challenging, but he’s set a good example for me these last few weeks- reminding me of the value of keeping things simple, being direct with people, making decisive decisions, employing trial and error and accepting mistakes gracefully as part of the process. I’m hoping to keep some of his lessons, even as the concussion symptoms hopefully fade away. 

Batman’s origin story is unique insofar as he’s a regular person who doesn’t have any ‘powers’. Instead, something terrible happened to him and he simply chose to work hard and try to make the world a better place.

Superman’s origin is much more mythical and messianic: He’s a godlike being who falls from the heavens as a baby with a mission to save us.

Anyway, here’s how I bumped my head- the Post Concussion Mark origin story, if you will. My partner and I went to the Hillcrest Pool to get in a solid swim/sauna/maybe fool around a bit in the change room session- a particular favorite of ours, especially at the end of the day. She had been working out extra hard as of late (Ariel from Lagree really kicks her ass, but in a good way) so when we got to the pool we headed straight for the sauna for some well deserved relaxation and recovery. The room was dark and particularly full that evening, but there was some space available at the top of the three rows so we squeezed between a few sauna go-ers and climbed our way up to claim a seat. Me, being the gentleman that I am (and, admittedly, enthusiastic to watch my partner walk up the stairs) I gestured for her to step up first. Unfortunately as I followed, I was distracted by my desire to avoid touching anybody in a bathing suit other than my partner and promptly forgot how low the ceiling was.  As I reached the second row, I bumped the top of my head HARD. It didn’t knock me out but it definitely hurt and the sound of it was a very audible THUMP that drew everyone’s attention. Anyway, I sat down, not realizing I was concussed and feeling like an idiot. However, while we sat there, two other people hit their heads on the ceiling so I felt a little less bad. I wonder if they were concussed, too? And if so, has it offered them a change in perspective? Either way, somebody should really think about putting up some signage in that sauna.

Hillcrest Aquatic Centre: The scene of the crime.

The Best Sunsets are the Ones You Don’t Miss

I felt drawn to the ocean today.  It had been a long day in what has already been a long week (it’s only Tuesday!) of what has undoubtedly been a trying few months amidst a 2+ year global pandemic and I figured I could benefit from the warmth of the late evening sun and the refreshment of a quick dip in the water. Turns out it was was exactly what I needed.

When I think about all the discouraging things happening in the world right now, I find it comforting to revisit some of the simpler (albeit breathtaking) pleasures- sitting by the ocean watching the sun set while the waves crash against the shoreline- and hearing people talk and laugh and listen to music in the background. I know it’s a very privileged example, but its comforting knowing that outside of the global health scares and political bullshit (not to mention the everyday assholeness of assholey assholes- shoutout to all my hospitality workers) that a lot of people just want to chill in the sun and eat and laugh and listen to music with their friends and family. I just imagine all the people who are doing similar things all around the world under the same sun and sky and can’t help but feel like there’s at least one common thread amongst us all. It’s a nice thought.

Some Unamused Musings

Hasui Kawase (1883-1957)

“In dark times when so much in the news is so unrelentingly horrible, it is a political act to open yourself to the awe and joy and beauty the world still provides.” Ada Limon

I felt shitty when I read the news yesterday. And then I felt even shittier when I thought, “try not to let the news ruin your day”. I don’t know what’s worse- the idea of steeling oneself and becoming desensitized to the mass murder of innocents and children as a means of emotional self preservation or allowing the waves of horror to wash over you again and again as cowardly lawmakers offer up more thoughts and prayers instead of solutions and special interest groups and weapons manufacturers profit from the continued violence.  In my view, these groups have blood on their hands and I don’t think the second amendment will ever effectively wipe their consciences clean of it.

Hasui Kawase (1883-1957)

It can be discouraging to think that during this time of unparalleled knowledge and mass communication that people have thus far been unable to agree on basic facts and effectively mobilize to counteract the major problems in the world. Climate change, global poverty and hunger not to mention more localized problems like the opioid epidemic and gun violence… You’d think we’d be able to act more decisively with the tools at our disposal. I suppose it takes a moment to remember that the tools we might use to combat some of these problems are tools that are also available to those who profit from them.

Hasui Kawase (1883-1957)

I used to joke that an alien invasion would be the only way to unify the disparate factions of the world. However, for a brief moment, the global pandemic offered up a reasonable alternative to this theory- uniting us in battle against a common enemy and offering the people of the world a similar, shared perspective. I wonder if as that common perspective melts away, people are going to rebound back to being harder, more tribal and further entrenched in both their beliefs and the sense of identity that they glean from those beliefs. Two plus years of a pandemic along with economic stress probably doesn’t help in that regard. I really hope that we can reawaken to a post-pandemic ethos where we’re more compassionate, more understanding and more patient with each other- but I worry that a collective release of pent up frustration stands between us and whatever dawn lies ahead.

Hasui Kawase (1883-1957)

Anyway, I discovered Japanese woodblock printing when I was going through a serious ASMR phase. There was a video of a man using traditional techniques, rubbing a piece of paper on to one wooden block after another to create one of the most beautiful and vibrantly colorful images I’d ever seen.  These prints were made by a Japanese artist named Kawase Hasui in the 1920’s and 30’s.

My iPhone the Time Capsule

Once upon a time before greedy billionaires, privacy issues, planned obsolescence and obscene phone bills made us wearier of technology, I splurged and bought a super futuristic, newly released, pearly-white iPhone 4.  It was an amazing upgrade from the series of Blackberries, Razrs and Ericsson’s I’d been using and introduced me to an entirely new world; Apps store apps! A five(!!!!!) megapixel camera! Music! Books! Podcasts! Videos! My face was glued to its massive (for the time) three and a half inch screen during all hours of the day and it quickly became one of my most prized possessions. When it came time for an upgrade I couldn’t bring myself to trade it in so I kept it- using it to read (The Godfather, Harry Potter, The Alchemist) and listen to music (Childish Gambino, Chance the Rapper, Robyn) and play Big 2 (Big 2) for years after iTunes deemed it (and itself) obsolete. I’ve owned that iPhone for much, much longer than I used it as an actual phone and it currently sits beside my coffee machine-it’s only purpose being to time my morning coffee. 

In any case, I was making my coffee this morning, watching the timer on that old iPhone 4 and it struck me how strange it was that this thing that once held so much value and importance was reduced to such a menial task. A decade ago it was a revolutionary do-everything device, but time and progress had managed to turn this wonderful piece of technology into an egg timer.

I don’t know why this resonated with me so much- maybe it reminded me that I was getting older. And I know there’s something to be said about time passing and values changing, and things that were once great fading and our memories being all that’s left. Or something. All I know is that there are hundreds of books and dozens of albums and hundreds of songs that are probably time capsuled forever on that phone. And I probably won’t read or listen to them ever again.  I’m not sure if that makes me happy or sad. I think the word I’m looking for is wistful- which probably means it’s a bit of both. 

The Ballad of Hero and Smashboy

I saw you from far away. 

I saw you too.

The music was playing- 

Yeah, that same old song.

And suddenly I was falling.

You fell in my direction.

It felt like the right move.

I think it was.

I drifted slowly at first.

I wasn’t going anywhere.

But then I got impatient, and rushed to stand next to you.

You’re a lot taller up close.

Well.. You’re taller when we both lie down.

True.

The world lit up for a brief moment.

That happens sometimes when everything lines up right.

And then before I knew it- 

We were gone.

-based on a fake true story.

Not their real names, but I wish they were.

The Way Back

I was walking along a moonlit path in a forest with no name, when it dawned on me that I had lost my way. The forest had become dark and my way forward was unclear and the more frantically I searched for it the more I came to realize that I couldn’t find my way back. As night fell into a deeper darkness and the sky became shrouded in cloud and shadow the air grew colder and I became afraid. So, in my despair I called out to you. The midnight air howled with deafening silence, until from somewhere beyond the darkness I heard you call back. Your voice was whisper-quiet, but I followed it, slowly and with great care, and the louder I called out the clearer your voice became. Eventually I found the path and with great toil made my way to the lush, starlit valley I had been searching for.  But when I tried to find you, you weren’t there. And as I called out to you again, the valley echoed my call- and I realized that the voice that had been guiding me was my own- I had only forgotten what it sounded like.

On Dualism: Or Chris Webber is the Best and Worst Sports Analyst on Television

The world confuses me- which makes a lot of sense if you think about it. I mean really think; The story of everything is incredible. Almost fourteen billion years ago the big bang catapulted the universe into existence creating a seemingly infinite number of galaxies, stars, solar systems and planets. More than ten billion years later, our solar system formed and the earth developed the conditions to support life. Mankind itself only emerged a few million years ago and civilizations as we know them only began developing agriculture and building permanent settlements in the last fifteen thousand years. Recorded history begins a mere five thousand years ago and despite the clear intelligence and curiosity of many ancient thinkers, we only began understanding modern science in the last few centuries. Electricity is two centuries old. The internet became an essential tool in the last three decades and the first iPhone came out just over a dozen years ago. With all of life’s distractions it’s easy to forget that we’re still just very small, very new and very precious specks of life; That our tiny planet is spinning at dizzying speeds around an enormous ball of exploding gas; And that our solar system and galaxy and universe is bigger and older and holds more mysteries than we could ever hope to discover in a billion, billion lifetimes. As for what came before all of this, the ‘why’ of it all- there’s a good chance we’ll never know.

All this is to say that, despite how far we’ve come as a species, mankind is still just a gentle whisper in the grand opera of existence. We’re still learning about ourselves and about the world we live in. There are many more landmarks to discover, distant horizons to explore, scientific mysteries to unravel; And we still can’t get the weather report right. 

“You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can’t predict the weather” – Andre 3000

Despite the magnitude of what we don’t know about the physical world, the internal world of thoughts and ideas can be just as vast and challenging.  For example, it constantly asks that we accept fundamentally opposing concepts and ideas- often at the same time. Ancient Chinese philosophers referred to this idea as dualism; Tattoo artists and grade school kids doodling in their notebooks understand it symbolically as yin and yang.  But regardless of how it’s perceived, the idea of opposing forces and ideas is ingrained in how we understand both the physical and non-physical world; Every action has a reaction;  The concept of love helps us to understand hate. In order to define good we have to understand evil. The existence of suffering allows for compassion and the idea of death provides meaning to life.  Personally, I like to think about duality in terms of the world being chaotic and yet still offering moments of clarity.

Which of course brings me to Chris Webber. Chris Webber is an NBA analyst on TNT, a former all-star caliber NBA basketball player and an all time great college athlete.

He’s clearly intelligent, handsome, charismatic and well spoken and as a basketball player his skills, athleticism and IQ were second to none before injuries derailed his career. As a cultural figure, he made basketball look cool– he dated Tyra Banks when she was an it girl, was name dropped in the lyrics of some of hip-hop’s most influential artists and had his own signature Nike’s. Needless to say, he made a ton of money and was incredibly successful by every metric except for championships (which is understandable, considering that in his prime the only franchise basketball players to win a championship were named Jordan, Olajuwon, Shaq, Kobe and Duncan). However, for some reason when he’s announcing games, very little of what he was as a player or as a cultural figure shines through. There’s really no way of sugar coating it- he’s the NBA analyst you hope isn’t announcing a game you want to watch.  

When you hear #ChrisWebber is calling the #Lakers game.. pic.twitter.com/bwJtg659Ly

— Midz Master T ✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿 (@AndHeGrows) August 30, 2020

Normally this is just one of those well known, annoying, but tolerated aspects of NBA fandom. However, these are unique times, and I think that the combination of social unrest, quarantine and the sheer number of basketball games that have been played in the last few weeks in order to make up for lost time made people more aware and less patient with Webber’s deficiencies as an announcer. When the NBA season resumed and the playoffs started he began trending on twitter- and some of the comments were starting to get ugly:

Chris Webber speaks like he’s following his phone’s predictive text

— Mike Prada (@MikePradaNBA) August 19, 2020

Chris Webber Long Run On Sentence During Lakers vs Blazers Game 4 Goes Viralhttps://t.co/cGVttD2kgS #ChrisWebber #sentence #LakersNation #Blazers

— JordanThrilla.com (@JordanThrilla) August 25, 2020

#chriswebber doing the play by play commentary #nbaontnt pic.twitter.com/FO2AUEZS12

— DJ BLADE (@DJBLADE39428) August 30, 2020

Then something awful happened that had nothing to do with basketball. An unarmed black man named Jacob Blake was shot in the back seven times by police in Kenosha, Wisconsin. The shooting occurred in front of his kids mere months after the first wave of protests against racism and police brutality erupted in response to the killing of George Floyd in Minnesota. It was also captured on video, and when the footage was released people were just as exhausted as they were outraged. There were protests and riots followed by the all-too-familiar politicization of everything (it’s beyond unsettling how normalized these reactions are becoming) and of course, some unflattering details about Blake were released to the public. Then, during the riots, a 17 year old white kid, walking around with an AR-15 was captured on video being largely ignored by the police until he shot and killed two people in what he argues was an act of self defense.

The contrasting images were visceral; An unarmed black man shot in the back by the police and an assault-rifle carrying white teenager walking through a riot zone unimpeded by law enforcement before killing two people. After months of social unrest and calls to action it felt like nothing had changed. So in a sudden and historic move, NBA players from Wisconsin’s NBA franchise, the Milwaukee Bucks, decided to sit out a game in protest. The rest of the NBA and most of the other professional sports leagues quickly followed suit and suddenly there weren’t any games to analyze.

Things happened in pretty rapid succession after that:

Kenny Smith, a former NBA player and one of the best and most respected basketball analysts on TV, walked off the set of his own show. 

The Milwaukee Bucks players made a public statement about racial injustice and why they were refusing to play. 

Major professional sports leagues, teams, players, celebrities, politicians and other public entities and individuals were rushing to respond and show their support (or to feign outrage).. 

Major sports networks without games to cover were figuring out how to fill all of the empty airtime. And amidst all of this, the most poignant, heartfelt and emotionally resonant commentary came from none other than Chris Fucking Webber:

Unbelievable. 

For three minutes he embodied everything we could ever want from any commentator, speaking from the heart with remarkable authenticity, intelligence and hope. For three minutes he was more than just the best sports analyst on TV- he was the most insightful and most impactful person on TV period. All this in a moment where he had to fight off tears and speak, off the cuff, about something far more important than basketball.

Again, unbelievable.

Of course, the internet responded with a ton of approval as even some of his harshest critics were posting things like, “I usually can’t stand Chris Webber but….” Furthermore, all of the tweets that were complaining about him over the previous few weeks were still available online, which meant that he was still trending on social media. But instead of seeing complaints about his announcing, the most recent posts were showing what he had to say about racial equality. His shittiness as a basketball announcer made his lucidity about social justice, racism and equality more visible. When I realized this, I couldn’t help but laugh. Chris Webber’s ongoing status as one of the worst announcers in basketball helped to publicize a moment where he became its best. It was perfect. And for a short moment, the chaos and confusion of everything made a little bit more sense. 

Anyway, it’s been a couple of days since the protests and after announcing some new, pretty significant and expensive social justice initiatives, the NBA is back on TV along with all the other professional sports. Meanwhile, Chris Webber was back in the announcers booth for one of the games and, true to form, he made a long winded, slightly cliche comment about some forgettable play or another; I didn’t mind so much.

The Plan is to Write More Stuff

I haven’t been writing a lot lately. At least not for public consumption.  I think a part of me has been hesitant to write anything because it all will be written and read within the context of the current social and political climate and I’d be worried about saying something distracting, or insensitive or ‘wrong’. With that in mind, I think these last few weeks of quarantine have been a good time to be introspective and for me that’s yielded some insight into the idea that regardless of what’s going on in the world we have to step out with our best intentions and armed with what knowledge, humility and compassion we have and live and learn and contribute and not be afraid of making mistakes- otherwise what are we protecting ourselves for?  That was definitely a run on sentence- but it made sense to me- and like I said, I haven’t been writing that much lately for public consumption. 

Supplementing My Quarantine Diet with a Healthy Dose of Alan Rickman Movies

Alan Rickman as Professor Snape.

I always thought that Neil Gaiman looked like Alan Rickman’s shaggier and more kind-hearted younger brother. If you don’t know who either of those two people are then look them up, check out their work, and prepare to be delighted. Alan Rickman was an actor who typically played villains throughout his career. I can only name four of his movies off the top of my head (Love Actually, Robin Hood; Prince of Thieves, Harry Potter (he’s in every Potter movie so technically that’s 11 not 4) and Die Hard- obviously) and none of them are technically “Alan Rickman movies” despite the fact that he’s usually the best thing in all of them. Nevertheless, the fact remains that he elevates every scene he’s in with his inimitable combination of no-time-for-your-bullshit intelligence and droll sarcasm. And Neil Gaiman- well he made The Sandman and Stardust- two graphic novels (you can call them comic books, I won’t be offended) that explore both the light and dark aspects of the fantasy genre and manage to be both truthful and dreamlike and whimsical and melancholy and frightening and exhilarating and romantic and sad and all of the things I want to read and experience in fiction and in life all at the same time. Gods, he’s a great writer. If he only made those two things, then he would still be one of my favorites, but he also made “The Ocean at the End of the Lane” which I love- and a few other books that remain unread on my KOBO because I’m a pleasure delayer and want to save some of the good ones for a rainy day- you know, rainier than a mass quarantine caused by a global pandemic.

Neil Gaiman as Neil Gaiman.

Anyway, it’s day *who the fuck knows* of the pandemic and quarantine and I think I’ve reached the point that Bill Murray got to at the end of Groundhog Day where all the coping mechanisms I’ve been employing have been exhausted and the only thing I’m really focused on is taking advantage of the free time I’ve been given. It’s not very likely (knock on wood) that I’ll ever be awarded the level of freedom I have right now- not just from normal obligations but also from some of the more leisurely activities that I enjoy; Going to the gym, eating at restaurants, going to bars and breweries with friends- these are things I love doing but they’re also things that are familiar and take up a lot of time. And I’m not saying that it isn’t time well spent- however, the absence of these things has encouraged me to expand my horizons in refreshing new ways I might not have considered under normal circumstances. Why not try meditating, or reading something I might not normally read (brushing up on literary terms made me ashamed to call myself an English major), or watching a Ru Paul Masterclass, or messing around with the guitar for a little bit? If time is the most valuable currency we have then maybe being forced to stay home has been, in some sense, a very generous gift for those of us who are lucky enough to have our health and enough money to get by. The difference between prison and liberation being, in this instance, a matter of mindset and perspective.

In any case, as a result of the quarantine I’ve discovered that the only things that I absolutely need are coffee, wifi, access to good food and a comfortable place to sit. Some form of exercise is really nice. And real life contact and conversation with friends and family increasingly feels like a really good glass of wine after an exceptionally long day- comforting and enjoyable in countless ways. But after that stuff’s taken care of, I’m actually pretty good. Maybe I’ll feel differently when Sunday rolls around and there isn’t a new episode of The Last Dance to look forward to. Or if this thing extends A LOT longer and I run out of books that I’m excited to read. But I’ve still got a shit ton of stuff on my KOBO so I think I’ll be okay.

Laptops, Love and Basketball

My laptop died on me last week.  I was adjusting the screen angle so I could watch a movie while I worked out and as soon as I touched the hinge the screen just went black. I had a funny feeling that it finally bit the dust and sure enough, after a few short lived restarts it never turned back on again. It was a small, deep blue, trifle of a thing- very old and very mediocre in terms of memory and processing power and the shell was flimsy as fuck. But it was light and the keyboard was springy and it had a battery that lasted forever which made it great for writing.   And now it’s in an old computer shop in East Vancouver being recycled for parts. Such is life. Goodbye, old friend- as far as inanimate objects go, I think I loved you the most. 

There were a lot of documents, both mundane and meaningful that were lost when that laptop crashed.  As an added insult, when it bricked it also fried the micro sd card that held all of my backup data. The computer tech determined that it was an electrical problem that did them both in at the same time, not that that’s any consolation. It just never occured to me that I’d need a backup for my backup. 

Oh well. 

At just about any other point in time I would’ve been pretty upset to have lost what was on that computer.   But a few words and a few files don’t really seem that important in the grand scheme of things right now.  Maybe they never were. And so I haven’t written anything new in a while. Writing about sports or pop culture or anything else in that vein feels a bit insignificant. I know that people need an outlet and something to help them feel a sense of normalcy, or even just a distraction, but right now (outside of the new Jordan doc) I just don’t feel like thinking about any of that stuff. And I ALWAYS feel like thinking about that stuff. So what, then? 

I want to know what’s going to happen. I want to know what people smarter, more knowledgeable and more powerful than me are doing to make things better. I want to know how the world is going to change if and when we put it back together again. 

Hm. 

Oh no, I’m watching a movie about a group of English Major friends and I hate them all- maybe it’s a good thing that I didn’t socialize much with my classmates in University. 

Anyway, I know it’s trivial to think about, but are movies going to be different after this? Not like, physical movie theaters- I think those are going to be ghost towns- but the actual content of movies. Social distancing is fucking unprecedented with implications I haven’t really taken the time to think about in full; Like how cell phones and the internet made  major plot points of so many movies irrelevant. 

(It’s an old thought, I know, but the number of movies that would’ve been made irrelevant with a cell phone or an email address is amazing! Here’s a short rundown of some of my favorites because I can’t help myself:

Romeo + Juliet – if Baz Lurman and Leonardo Dicaprio made this movie 3 years later when everybody was signed up for yahoo email addresses and the world was playing snake on their Nokias, then this movie wouldn’t make any sense.  One text message and Juliet faking her death would just be part of an extended meet-cute. 

Before Sunrise/Before Sunset – I don’t think Before Sunrise makes any sense even without modern technology. There’s a zero point zero percent chance that any guy, let alone newly single and neurotic as fuck Ethan Hawke (because like Hanks and Damon, Ethan Hawke usually seems like he’s just playing himself), would spend a night with Julie fucking Delpy and not get her full name and phone number and address written down so he could contact her. It just wouldn’t happen.  If he had a phone her number would be in it within 30 minutes of meeting her.

Home Alone 1/Home Alone 2- “Hey mom, I think you left me at home” and  “Hey Mom, I think I got on the wrong flight.”)

Anyway, a question of far less importance than those I previously proposed is whether the culture of caution, quarantine and social distance is going to make its way into the art we consume?  And if so, what movies are we going to look back on and say, shit, that wouldn’t happen now? 

With that in mind, here’s a list of movies that already make me nostalgic for the way things were:

           

Dazed and Confused (or Can’t Hardly Wait)- These movies are about hanging out with a big group of friends, sharing a joint or a beer and maybe finding a little bit of romance. Puff, puff and pass might be a thing of the past and ‘when was the last time you were tested’ might take on a new meaning after this is all over. 

Project X – I don’t really want to go to a burn-the-block-down kind of house party but I like the idea of attending a large gathering with strangers without worrying that population density increases risk of exposure to infectious disease :S. 

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist- live shows in intimate venues 😥

Love and Basketball – The title speaks for itself.

Cocktail – Are all hospitality workers going to have to wear gloves and masks? How about in nightclubs? Strip clubs? Everybody, including Tom Cruise in cocktail, presumably would look a lot less attractive wearing a mask even if they were serving me drinks. 

True to form, I started this post thinking I didn’t want to talk pop culture or make any lists. And by the end of it I made two. Go figure. 

I hope everybody’s healthy and happy and staying safe.

Best,

 

Mark